Alone

I feel so lonely sometimes.

I have a great family. I'm so grateful for them so much of the time.

Sometimes though, I'm left out, I'm shoved out to the edges and I am disregarded and not included.

Why?

I've worked hard over the years. I have struggled to overcome adversity. I have worked three jobs while going to college and supported four children and a spouse who was supposed to die.

I want to be a part of things. I want to share time with my family.

I don't want to be the one left out and not carbon copied on the family memos.

I don't understand. Why do they leave me out over and over and over again?

Happy Birthday Mom

My mom is 70 today. She's freaking awesome on a million billion levels.

I have been looking for ways to celebrate her birthday. I sent an email to my sister and my daughters and asked what we could do to make the birthday wonderful.

I got a lukewarm response from my sister who lives on the left coast with my mom.

I didn't know that umpteen family members had planned to go be there and celebrate with her. I'm really freaking tired of being ignored. A bunch of them all flew to California to help her celebrate. They didn't tell me they were going there for my mother's birthday.

I could have gone and been there. I would like to have had the chance.

Ode to GorganWolf

Your name has been bandied about a bit among folks of my acquaintance. You left marks on all of us.

We are all sore sad to know that you are not there to hear us jeer you. You are not there to hear us celebrate and elevate and berate you for leaving us.

Tragedy? That's what we hear. Tragedy? That's what we feel.