Thanksgiving

Today, I'm not seeing, I'm thinking about the people in my life and feel that I should tell them why I'm thankful to know them.

AA

My sister. AA I wish I knew you better. I'm sad that we only ever lived together before you were five. I wish that I had so much experience to draw on to tell you why I'm thankful for you. I really don't know you. I never had the privilege. We are siblings yet we don't share more than we ever did share.

I'm thankful that you are in this world. You are the only sibling I have. I have reasonable assurances that you are a kind person and a great mom and a savvy entrepreneur. I wish I knew that from personal experience.

I'm glad you are alive. I'm pleased that you exist. I think you have wonderful children and I'm proud that you love them so much. I'm so happy that you get to have the experience of having our parents around for your entire life. I miss them too.

I didn't get to live with our parents very long. Less than 12 years. I lived a lot of places. Most of my life I've been isolated for reasons that did not involve me.

I'm so grateful that I have a sister. Some folks never have one at all. Geographical challenges have made the relationship mostly a suggestion for us. I reach out all the time. I don't know how to do better.

Hard Headed

I have more projects. My head is going to get exponentially harder.

I'm not used to this. I'm not used to being challenged inside my classroom. I'm very chill and will give you the best goodies if you are willing to just come in and work. We will talk about ideas. Just don't be hateful.

Please don't come up in here and contradict EVERYTHING I say just for your own perverse pleasure. It really does take away from the experience of the other students.

It certainly takes away from my experience.

I'm willing to help you as much as you can handle. I will push you to achieve more.

I may be in Trouble

I love teaching. I get to learn so much and I get to teach so much and a lot of what I teach is not in the art curriculum.

Every year I have "projects." Those are students that are hard-headed and resilient. They have what it takes, they are just directionally challenged. You know who you are.

I thank you for pushing me to be a better me. I love your spirit and your willingness to be extraordinary.

I have some new projects. I'm learning more than I dreamed.

Figure it out

I was recently reminded of an experience in my past and I wanted to share it.

I was driving one of my VW's. I don't remember which one. I was on I-35 headed from Denton to Garland and the car just quit on me in the middle of the highway. I walked across the northbound lanes of 35 to get to the gas station to call home. I called my dad from the pay phone and he told me to figure something out.

I went back to my car (crossing the northbound lanes of I-35) and put the hood up and was really perplexed. I realized that something had fallen off in the engine. It looked like the coil bracket had gone away and things weren't hooking up. I dug through the stuff I had in the back seat and found some yarn and I made the part connect again and I tied it down with the yarn.

Some man stopped to see what I was doing and saw that I was tying car parts on with yarn and expressed some concern. I tried to start the car and it started. The man asked me where I was going and I told him I was going home to Garland. He told me he would follow me to make sure I got there.

This nice man followed me from Carrollton to Garland. He said that he would hope that if his daughter broke down on the side of the highway that someone kind would help her. I got off at Northwest Highway and drove up to the Phillips 66 at Northwest HWY at Centerville. I pulled into the garage and got out and asked the mechanic if he had a coil for a '67 VW beetle and he went around and pulled up my hood and saw all the yarn tying things on and he about fell out laughing. He DID have a coil that would fit and he put the part on and he charged me less than seven dollars. He cut off all the yarn.

Dad, I figured it out, but I was really lucky that the folks that stopped to help me were nice people. I'd be terrified today if it was my daughter out there on the side of the highway trying to figure out what to do.

Like a Fiddler on the Roof....

I've been going into work extra early. Starting a new job with a new district it seems like the thing to do. I am learning the lay of the land and the territory and I want to be on top of my game.

After three weeks I have noticed a few kids that are dropped off early. They are there when I get there at seven. I've talked to Ashanti because she's also there when I leave after five. I'm not sure what her story is, but she is dropped off extra early and is picked up extra late. I told her one day that I thought she must live there. She smiled. I finally sat down one day and asked her name and told her mine. She's shy and has a sweet smile. Her hair and make up are always very carefully done so she must get up REALLY early. I don't know her story yet, but I talk to her every morning and when I came in this morning she waved at me first.

I signed in and wandered down to my end of the world and made coffee and sat down and set up my technology for the day and then heard it....the sound of the violin. Ba dom ba dom ba dom. Dot Dot Daht Dot Dot Daht... I listen more carefully and I most certainly hear the dancing melody of the opening of Fiddler on the Roof.

I am transported to last weekend. We were in Ft. Collins, Colorado for our daughter's wedding. Mark is driving a van load of bridesmaids and the bride around to their pub crawl and I pick up the remote control there in room 822 of the Hilton and can barely make it work and then I push a button and there I see the silhouette of the Fiddler...there on the roof and the music starts. I start crying. I find it incredibly appropriate on so many levels. Rachael, our daughter, the bride, was the Momma Golde in a production of Fiddler her senior year of high school. I went to so many rehearsals and the performances and heard her sing so many of the songs and we listened to the sound track in the car so she could practice and the story of a good man getting his daughters married off became dear to my heart. We even talked about whether or not to have Sunrise Sunset play at her wedding.

(tevye)Is this the little girl I carried,
Is this the little boy at play?

(golde)
I don't remember growing older,
When did they?

(tevye)
When did she get to be a beauty,
When did he grow to be so tall?

(golde)
Wasn't it yesterday when they were small?

(men)
Sunrise, sunset Sunrise, sunset.
Swiftly flow the days.

(women)
Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers,
Blossoming even as we gaze.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/fiddler_on_the_roof/sunrise_sunset.html ]
(everyone)
Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset.
Swiftly fly the years,
One season following another,
Laiden with happiness and tears.

To hear the strains from Fiddler this morning was really a sweet way to start the day. I listened and walked out of my room and edged down to peek down the choir hallway. I can still hear the music. Whoever is playing is really good. I walked very softly until I could see a young man sitting on the floor playing the violin. I was trying to be very quiet and sneaky but I guess he finally saw me in his peripheral vision and stopped. I told him I liked it very much and that he was good and he said he loved Fiddler because it was the first musical his mother took him to see. We chatted for a minute and I thanked him and went back to my room. I must have made him shy because he shifted to Vivaldi. That didn't hurt my feelings at all.

My students did good work today and behaved reasonably. The principal wandered in and looked at what they were doing and seemed pleased. This is a good sign for the new girl on a new job.

After work we went over to see some of my peeps from my old school. I have missed them so much. I'm pleased with my new situation but I miss the people that I love. I turned over my Skyline ring to Monty. He was around the day I made it and it fits him perfectly. I've worn that ring for years now. My finger feels naked.

I saw other friends that I love so much and it made my heart happy. It was fun and we were silly.

We were leaving and intended to go get something to eat and stopped right down the street at Dixie House. My friend Dennis was the manager there and I didn't know if he still was but we stopped there anyway. We walked in and the girl that seated us looked so familiar. She is a pro and did a great job setting up our service. At one point I asked her where she went to school and she told me that she went to Eastfield but had gone to Skyline. I told her that I knew she looked familiar and told her my name and she said "OH, you had Jebus..." She started to explain and I told her that I did indeed have "Jebus" and that he was one of my angels and she hugged me and hurried to her next table and I'm certain that both of us cried a little. We both lost "Jebus" very tragically when his father chose to take his life and the lives of his family. He was one of my very special students and his loss tore a big hole in my heart and the hearts of everyone that knew him. It was good to see this young lady. I also taught her brother who was dear to my heart also.

Today, I heard music that moves me. I had the chance to reflect and think happy thoughts. I saw people that I love very much. I saw someone who shares part of my heart.

In the musical, Tevye is a joyful narrator who explains that life is like a fiddler perched on a roof. Life is survival through tradition in a life of uncertainty and imbalance. We push our tradition for the sake of love.

Today was a good day.

Happy Birthday

There are so many folks I know with a birthday today. Today was my father's birthday. Today is my ex-husband's birthday. Today is the birthday of a son in law's father. Obviously, I'm somehow drawn to men born the end of May.

What are they like? They all have strong personalities. They all like an audience. They all have disappointed and been disappointed.

The next four days bring a bunch of other birthdays. We are the Middle Gemini Children. We try too hard. We find it very hard to get serious about some things. Serious is not created on a level playing field.

Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying.