Will we go round in circles?

I had a conversation today with Juan. He's one of my son's friends. He graduated from a local school. He was in the green and white striped band. I told him some of our recent crazy stuff. He can't imagine that folks are rude when we try to ask them to follow the rules.

I was just talking about my current issues.

I got a new student Friday morning. It was very apparent very quickly that she was a child that came with baggage. It's very easy to tell that a child has some issues.

As I teach a class that involves hazardous materials I was concerned. I do not usually admit children to my class at mid year unless I know their artistic abilities and have signed off on allowing them in. This child came in without any "head's up" or notification to expect her.

SO, I need to listen to everything that she says to me or she might throw a fit and attack other students or lay down in the floor and kick and scream. As she talks non stop, it's going to be hard to listen to her all the time and still instruct my class. I've been told not to give her sharp objects. She showed me her art supply bag. She's already carrying sharp objects.

I want to teach this child something. I know that she didn't want my class.

I will try to find something that she wants to make.

Ode to Leah Beth

What can I say? Today has been pivotal. I've gone from the status of parent to grandparent.

It's so wonderfully awesome. There is a new human that is alive that is one quarter me.

I say now, I cannot wait to meet this person.

Welcome Leah Elizabeth Ayers. I can only imagine your potential as a human. I think you will be kind. I think you will notice humankind going by in all its peculiarity. Some of us are responsible for stewardship and I pass this task to you granddaughter.

Happy New Year and welcome to Planet Earth!

Like I really needed another project

I had an unfavorable interaction with a kid today. He's a big kid and he first used profanity and then after that made threats.

I've been hurt by several students. I was assaulted three times while I was at Hillcrest. I don't imagine that the kids will be much better now.

I looked into this child's background. He's a smart kid. He's in a cluster. I want to help him, but he was threatening to me. I'd love to have several conversations with him, but I also do not want to fear that "He's going to get me."

Life in the Big City.

Letter to a friend

I have more grandmothers than most folks. My father died when I was 3 and my mother remarried so I got an extra set of grandparents plus an extra set of step grandparents.

Both my real dad's mother and my step dad's mother died of liver cancer.

It is a MEAN UGLY BITCH. My suggestion is to get to her and be near and say everything that you need to say and do it FAST. Don't think that there will be much time. My step gram lasted six weeks after diagnosis. My real gram lasted less than three months after diagnosis. The illness is awful and the palliative treatments are just remedial.

The important thing is that people that love her go NOW and tell her how much they love her and that they will look for her on the other side. I got a "final call" and got to be there in time to speak my peace with my grandmother and tell her that I loved her and that it was okay for her to go. I think she was waiting for me (I was the only grandchild that was far away) and i talked to her and told her about my children and how they were doing and how much I loved her and that I would stay there with her and that it was okay for her to leave because there were a lot of folks waiting for her and that in the grand scheme of things that the rest of us were not that far behind her. (Pauses to wipe tears).

What I learned was that some of my family didn't want to let her go. They were the ones that stood around and were trying to lay hands and pray for a healing. I was the one that told her it was okay to move on, and she held tight on my hand until she was ready to leave.

...and a lady always knows when it’s time to leave.. My grandmother was a lady in every sense of the word.

This is hard

Died: July 20, 2009 in Afghanistan

Sgt Gregory Owens Jr, of Garland Texas joined the Army in January 2007 and arrived at Fort Drum in June 2007. Greg was a field artillery automated tactical data systems specialist with the 4th Battalion, 25 Field Artillery Regiment. His awards and decorations include the Army Achievement Medal, National Defense Service Medal, Afghanistan Campaign Medal with Campaign Star, Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal, and the Army Service Ribbon. He died at age 24 in Wardak Province, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle followed by an attack from enemy forces using small arms and rocket-propelled grenade fires. He is survived by his parents.

Army
4th Battalion
25th Field Artillery
3rd Brigade Combat Team
10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry)
Fort Drum, New York

He is survived by a great number of friends who loved him dearly.

I was fortunate to have Greg in my art one class his sophomore year. He was cute and funny and nice and always delightful. Most of the kids in class are nowhere near as nice. He was a joy.

I remember getting very annoyed with him later in the year when I found out that he'd attended "THAT party" where there was a wet t-shirt contest and were underage folks drinking. I was pretty annoyed about the whole thing on a number of levels (including seeing photographs of my students and the children of co-workers). He wasn't sorry. I think he was pleased at getting to go to the likely party of the decade. I was just more annoyed because he was a sophomore that paid five bucks to get a cup to get into that party and that there were not adults there to monitor what happened. He did not seem worse for the wear. He was actually very "cool" about the experience. Much more so than some of the upperclassmen who attended.

Greg was SMART. In art class, relative smart doesn't necessarily come up very often. I appreciate folks who work hard. Greg was not the most gifted artist, but his intelligence came through over and over again. I realized that he was smart enough to recruit for the Academic Decathlon team. I asked him nicely and he said he thought it would be a fun, cool thing.

It was a fun cool thing. He was a great team member and was always a positive influence on our hard headed group. Greg was not one to complain. He was one who would say "We can DO this." He was always smiling.

I was a little sad that he didn't have room for Decathlon his senior year, but he did get to be Drum Major. Our team would yell for him because he was one of us. We were proud to see him lead our band, showing his leadership skills.

When he graduated, he came and presented me with a laminated bookmark. It had his picture and it had my name on it. It was a "remembrance" of him. I've never gotten another like it in all the years that I've taught.

Greg stayed in touch with me since he graduated 7 years ago. I got periodic emails checking in to see how I was doing and to let me know how he was doing. I talk to a great number of my former students, but none who were so diligent as Greg.

I will miss his sweet soul. I honor his service.

We as a people and a planet are diminished by his loss.

Letter to My Sister

We finally got home tonight from an astonishing road trip.

We left here last Tuesday and headed for Oberlin, Oh. for the ArtMetal Shindig. We went across Arkansas and met my friend Gregg who is an attorney in Little Rock. We wrestled over the lunch ticket. You've met Gregg but you were possibly six at the time. He was my road trip buddy in college and I rode with him to a LOT of out of town football games. He would call me and say "Skinney, we are leaving for the LA Tech game in twenty minutes, I'll pick you up in fifteen." I should tell you some day about the adventure we had when North Texas played Memphis State. Poor Lillian got her windshield smashed out. There was also mustard all over the car.

We went through Memphis and stopped at the visitor center on Riverside Drive. I know that your only connection to Memphis is that you were baptised there. I was so offended by the nasty rude behavior of the workers there. We've gone on any number of road trips over the years and we always stop at the visitor center when we've gone over the state line to get a free map and look at local attractions and pick up hotel coupons. I love Memphis, I've lived there several times in my life...as a small child, as a medium child and as an adult... I was born in West Memphis. Did you know that? I used to lie to people and say that I was born in West Memphis because my mother didn't make it across the bridge to Memphis. It's hard to admit that one was intentionally born in the Truckstop Capital of Mid America. There is a Grayhound racetrack there and a Pancho's that got busted for serving cat meat.

We stopped a little ways further on in Memphis to get gas. I begged Mark to let me stop and ask after Tops BBQ. We pulled off very near where we used to live in NE Memphis. Mark remarked on our way back that he was happy that the Summer Drive In was still in operation. He has a thing about drive in movies. That is another story (but we may go to the drive in tomorrow night for the 4th of July) We pulled off and I walked up to a woman working in front of the store. "Excuse me, Miss" I said. The woman ignored me, I might have as well been invisible. "Excuse me, Miss?" I asked again. She was facing me, but she had her Ipod going and she successfully ignored me. I went into the store to get a drink and I asked a woman that was nearby if she knew the territory. She admitted that she didn't know Memphis well. She and her family were coming from Dallas to their home in Nashville. She was at least pleasant and congenial. I spoke to her as we waited in line to check out and the clerk behind the counter heard my search for Top's and very earnestly gave me directions to the nearest location and smiled and told me that Top's was the BEST. I DID get my Top's BBQ and it was wonderful.

We went on to Nashville. I'd never been there before and was impressed. It is a very pretty city and very scenic. We spent the night there and got up the next day to head further north toward the Shindig.

I have lived in the MidSouth for some of my life and have seen billboards since I could read for Mammoth Caves. Mark told me that our route took us right by Mammoth Caves. I begged for a side trip to see something I've heard about all my life. It was gorgeous. It's in the middle of Kentucky and we wandered through hills and trees to find the site. There are at least a dozen different tours of varying difficulty. We got there and chose the next available tour which was "moderate." I don't know if you have ever been through caves but this one was impressive. It was not as dramatic as Carlsbad, but it was interesting and tight fitting and I worried at times about Mark getting his bulk through the passages. It was 500 steps down and 500 steps up. The tour guide TJ said to look forward because there were low hanging rocks and that they did NOT need new "names" that children should not hear. Seriously, several rocks were named "SHIT" and "Goddammit" and various other versions as our crowd came through.

We made it as far as Cincinnati that night. I'd never been to Ohio before. Mark's father was born just outside Cincinnati. It is a beautiful city. I don't know why I didn't think it would be pretty. In some ways it reminds me of Portland, Or. There are beautiful buildings built into the hillsides.

We made it to Oberlin the next day. We were kindly hosted by Nick Fairplay and Elizabeth Meadows. Their shop was amazing. Nick is a stone sculptor and is carving lions to go to the Utah State Capital. We had a blast. We got to play with metal and I got to use a cutting torch and it scared me. At least I didn't drop the torch.

There were little boys there and they ran Mark ragged. He did magic tricks and carried them on his shoulders and ran all over the place until he was ready to drop. They didn't want him to quit, he was the best new toy they'd ever had.

We stayed at the "Turquoise Dump" as Rich called it. It was very charming in a Bates Motel sort of way. It wasn't too far from the Shindig. The proprietor, Mr. Patel was a striking figure. He was intense about his concern for us being next to neighbors who paid for the "adult" channel for fear they would disturb us. I got the impression that Mr. Patel also rents by the hour and was pleased to have folks who actually stayed there for several days. We were next door to Rich and Alice so it was all good.

Marilyn gave us some lessons on foldforming. I had never done it but had some knowledge of the process. I made a very pretty leaf. She also gave us lessons in Viking Knitting which I had also never done and could not get my comprehension around the written instructions. It was much simpler than I expected and I picked it up pretty quickly.

Lynda and Elmer the blacksmiths from NC came and set up their forge. I did play at forging a piece of copper. It's amazing how soft the metal is when it is hot. They were wonderfully lovely people and we enjoyed them very much.

We left Oberlin and headed for South Dakota to see Rachael. We skirted around Chicago and headed up to Wisconsin. I'd never been there before and was very pleased at how pretty it was. We spent the night in Madison and seriously have never had to drive around in circles so many times to get to a hotel we could SEE. The road system is pretty interesting there. We left there and headed toward Minnesota and ended up in an hour long traffic jam right by the Great Wolf Lodge. Fortunately it wasn't too hot and Mark was being patient.

Crossing into Minnesota was amazing. I'd never seen the Mississippi River so close to it's source. It was even prettier a few miles up with a view of lots of little islands sticking up from a vast lagoon of water. The cliffs looking over the water were very steep and dramatic.

There were huge wind farms in Minnesota. We would come around the corner and the huge windmills would stretch as far as the eye could see. On our way across Arkansas we saw a truck carrying one of the blades. We didn't know what it was at the time, it looked a bit like an airplane wing, but not quite the right shape. We saw several more on the trip after we'd seen the wind farm. It's good to know that SOMEONE is trying to use sustainable resources.

It felt good to hit the South Dakota border, even though Rachael was at the far side. We miss her so much and it's good to see her. We soon recognized some familiar landmarks as we hauled ass across the state. The speed limit is 75, so of course Mark goes 80. He thought we'd get to Rapid City pretty late, but he drives faster than he realizes. We got there and were ready to crash and burn.

We got up finally the next day and took our girl to lunch at the Firehouse Brewing Company. Wednesday was fun because her fella was coming home and we were excited to meet him. We picked him up at the airport and took him out for continuing adventures. We went up to Deadwood and spent some time feeding money to slot machines. It was fun, I only spend as much as I'm willing to allot for entertainment purposes. I think Mark actually came out ahead a bit. He's so funny, if he gets a little ahead, he cashes in his ticket and puts the "overage" in his other pocket. He was positively jingling by the time we left. We decided to go over toward Hill City to the Prairie Berry Winery for a wine tasting. What's even more interesting is that we purchased a bottle of Red Ass Rhubarb wine. It's really pretty good. The names of the wines there are pretty funny. I tasted the 3rednecks and Lawrence Elk.

Sadly, we had to head south on Thursday. I was able to convince Mark to go see the Crazy Horse monument. It was impressive and there were so many people there. I was astonished at the crowds. The work itself is so grand in its scale and will be the largest sculpture ever when completed. We wandered all over the complex and then went in and watched a short film about the history of the project. When we came out, the temp had dropped 20 degrees and it was chilly. Mist poured through the gaps in the mountains. The way out included a drive through Custer State Park which wound in and out of the hills and then onto range land. I loved the road signs that said "Buffalo are dangerous" and "Wildlife at large." We did see quite a few buffalo and they are LARGE.

Western Nebraska has some charm. It is also scarily underpopulated. We'd go for miles without seeing anything but fields and power lines. Kansas was more of the same, but I loved the rolling hills. Oklahoma went by fast, we'd gone so many miles and getting close to home was a good feeling. We saw so many speed traps. It was evident that some folks were getting off to an early start for their 4th of July celebrations.

It's good to be home, but it's nice to have adventures!!

Flash Forward

I just had a frightening flash forward.

It's not frightening because it's a bad thing. It's a wonderful thing, but it will leave me with a taste of ashes, and a sense of pride and a woeful sense of remorse.

I've got a great bunch of kids this year. There is a group of them that I've had for 3 years now. I've seen such growth and character out of these guys.

I've been a harpy to get them to take the SAT twice this year. The first round of scores just came in. They are good. They will be better. I want these children on the first row of applicants of any school they apply to.

I just flashed forward to a year from May when they walk across that stage and graduate. I don't think I could be prouder of any group I've ever seen walk. I don't think I will miss any group so much. I will holler and yell for Ashley and Alma and Cruz and Laura and Danielle and Alex and Marion and Daniel and even Cristian without an "h." I don't think I've ever had a bunch that got to me on such a gut level. I'm going to be in a tizz all next year as they make applications to universities across the country. I'm going to write recommendation letters that express my admiration for them and extol their virtues. I'm going to be all over their backsides to meet the financial aid deadlines.

Then in May, I will see them walk. I will see them join the "grown up" world.

I'm crying now to think of them going forward, but away from me.

What will I do when it happens?

Profound Revelation

Every once in a while one has moment of clarity. I didn't say sanity, I said clarity.

For someone who lives in a house where a TV is on 24/7 I don't care so much for it. I've seen every episode of I Love Lucy at least 20 times. I've seen every Star Trek, I cut my science fiction teeth on the original run. A few years back though I added HBO to the mix and I asked Mark to watch the Sopranos. I'd heard so much about it and witnessed a lot of "water cooler" conversations that talked about what Tony did last night. I had a vague idea of who Tony was and then the show sucked me in like the biggest sucker ever found on this planet.

That wasn't enough for me. Then came this weird quirky show called Six Feet Under. My mind was blown out of the water and I learned the names of the wonderful ensemble cast and I'm thrilled to encounter any of them in any other show.

Well, then there is Showtime. I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to do it. But Michael C. Hall is Dexter. I heard about it from friends and family and I wanted to hate it and then I was intrigued.

How does one feel kindly toward a serial killer? It's really kind of a strange quasi vigilante sort of rationalization. Seriously, we all think about it. There is someone somewhere who strikes a chord in our hearts and makes us honestly believe that the planet would be a better place for their absence. These days, I'm not so much about an individual as I am about ideas.

I can live without nasty baby momma, baby daddy pimpin' in the crib ain't that CRUNK. Rap music has not captured my heart or the essence of my soul at this point in my life. I am so sick of seeing young men choosing to have their pants hanging off "they ass." It's one thing if the view is nice, but today I saw one broad across the beam and his navy blue plaid boxer shorts didn't look so fresh. Ewww. Please if there is polite society (I'm not talking about in the privacy of one's home) where is it polite to show your ass?

Oooooooo shiny. . . .

Anyway, I started watching Dexter. . . Then I happened across Weeds. I don't care about TV, it is evil, it sucks away the souls of small humans. It sucked me in. Both shows have some talented folks in their casts. I love folks who play well together, that was so much of what I loved about Star Trek: The Next Generation.

My moment of clarity came when I thought about putting a character from Dexter and one from Weeds together to see how they interacted and I've hardly stopped laughing since. For those of you who know the shows, just try and picture this combination. Sgt. Doakes from Dexter and Celia from Weeds. I can hardly think of two characters so distant from one another.

I keep thinking of the conversations they would have and I think that could be a hysterically funny comedy schtik to have those two in character having an "interaction."

I have always maintained that I am easily amused.

Conspiracy Theory

I've been reading about St. Mary Magdalene. I just think this whole "history" is fascinating. I would love to go to Vezelay. The whole concept of the descendants of Christ hanging out in France should be warm fuzzies to the French.

I've grown up around conspiracy theories. I live in Dallas and just this last week there was some other evidence about bullets in the JFK assassination.

I lived in Memphis when MLK was killed. I lived through the garbage strikes and saw National Guard patrolling the streets and tried to understand what "curfew" meant as a 3rd grader. I had to go to work with my mother because school was cancelled. She worked for the Chamber of Commerce which was housed at the Peabody Hotel. I used to escape from her office to go see the duck parade, but I also caught sight of a riot that went past the glass doors of the Peabody. I guess that's why school was out. My second most vivid memory (after the ducks and the riot) was sitting at a typewriter and making it bang out all sorts of nonsense. It was fun, I loved typing really fast.

I'm delving through different versions of this story. They are more than entertaining. I'm going to have to read up much more on the history of Mary Magdalene. I've been told so many different things. It's hard when there is no clear evidence. One has to look at what has been written and attribute credibility.

Horribly Bad

I've run away from my blog because of fear. I sorta kinda got outed to the local media and I've been trying to fly under the radar for a while.

On a normal day I tend to annoy people. I just wanted to let the dust settle.

I've totally TOTALLY lost count of my books, although I've been very good about reading a lot.

I'm guestimating that I'm over 60 books by now. I finished Fried Green Tomatoes today and it was a lot of fun. I'll try and reconstruct what I've read very soon.

Meanwhile the troops arrive tomorrow. . .

What is appropriate?

I'm trying to be a team player. I'm trying to take things from my training that will make me a better teacher. I've gotten a few things that I think will be helpful. It will help me refine what I already do. I look at all the objectives and see that I teach at a high level already (with the kids kicking and screaming all the way because they don't WANT to work).

We're supposed to teach lessons from the PBS Series Art 21. Our district has spent some money to get us copies of the series. I was "gifted" with the first three seasons yesterday.

I understand the value of contemporary art. I understand that we should teach our students things that are relevant to their experiences. However, our kids understand graffiti and billboards. Shouldn't we try to extend their experiences to let them know about the rich tradition of Art in our culture? Shouldn't we let them know that about the Ninja Turtles? Shouldn't they know about Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael?

I was a good drone today. I plugged in the first season of Art 21 and started watching. I watch. The first segment is on sculptor Richard Serra and it's very dry (which is sad because I love his work) and there is a lot of time that had no talking that shows people walking around in a museum and our kids will be drooling on the desk if we make them watch that. The next segment is on photographer Sally Mann. Her stuff is gorgeous. However, she shows a number of photographs of her children in the nude. I can appreciate the art of her work, but I don't want to have to deal with my students going home and saying "Teacher showed me pictures of naked children."

I loved Mappelthorpe's photographs of children running through a sprinkler. They were artfully done. He got in trouble with the National Endowment for the Arts because of this. Some of his work is not appropriate to share with our students. Some is. I cannot get over the staged photographs of Sally Mann's own children. She's been considered to be a source of pedophilic materials. Is this what we need to be showing our high school children? The Art 21 video shows her young daughter tweaking her own nipple in the photograph. This does not possess the spontaneity that the sprinkler kids demonstrated.

I think Art21 is an interesting and provocative program. For adults. I don't think this program has any place that is appropriate for high school students. I would recommend it if the parents of minor children had screened all the material and approved it for their own children. I would have allowed my personal children to see the material on this site ONLY after I had previewed it myself and had prepared myself to answer questions that would certainly be generated by the images shown here.

I push the envelope in my art history class by showing Annie Liebovitz's photo of Lance Armstrong. There is nothing explicit in the photograph but he IS nude. He's one solid man made of muscle. It's a wonderful exploration of the human form.

I would not show Sally Mann's photographs of her children ever to our high school children. I do not want to have to deal with the issues of our children telling their parents that we showed them pictures of nude children.

I love art. I love it in all of its forms. I can appreciate the strange and bizarre.

I just have limitations. I teach minor children. I'm being asked to direct our minor children (13 year olds in some cases) to look at a site that shows things that I would not allow my own children to view.

Does anyone smell a lawsuit here? I don't want to be on the news because I'm being mandated to display things that I find objectionable.

I'm in between a rock and a hard place. The district, as represented, is shoving this curriculum down my throat. It doesn't seem to matter that the presenter seems confused.

I can't go there. I know that we need to make our students think. I'm all for thinking. Thinking is a good thing. I just don't think that we should be mandated to make them think about images of bondage and fetishism and nude children as a mandated part of our curriculum.

Is that wrong?

Letter to the Principal

I started off writing this letter to my principal a couple of times today during staff development. I didn't send anything yet, but I 'm going to work it out here.

Mr. W.

I appreciated seeing you this morning and I was very glad to see you. It made me happy that you said that you were happy to see me. I appreciate that you were dispatched to counsel with me and the other "bad" art teachers after the reported bad behavior of our group of teachers last Thursday. I am grateful to see your smiling face and even more grateful for your hug. You are wise and I understand that you had an equally painful staff development last week. I edify your character and strength and inspiration to me as you tell me that I can make it through this.

I'm grateful that when I said that our presenter was a strange that you said that you understood that she was unusual.

I'm concerned that our person in charge does not have pure motives. She's under qualified. She taught a few years in the district and was rendered "redundant" at her school and was not picked up by any of the schools that interviewed her. She talks a good talk and apparently knows all the good buzzwords that are important these days. She has been promoted to her level of incompetence. I think she is a sweet person. My chihuahua is sweet, but she doesn't understand that she shouldn't run out into the street. Our person cannot, however, teach. She cannot answer simple questions. She reads convoluted text that I don't think she understands, and says that we don't know the answers yet but that we've got to figure them out. How can she teach us anything if she can't answer a single question? I'm concerned that she is working on some kind of post graduate program and that she is setting up our whole district as her guinea pig. Is that ethical?

Let's rewrite all the curriculum for a subject for one of the largest urban districts in the US. That would be a good resume builder. That could feed the idiocracy that is in charge of educating students in this country. Let's elect this person as Secretary of Education because she knows how to doubletalk the idjits in charge.

I became physically ill during the session today. I tried really hard to be pleasant and I tried really hard to understand the idiocy that was presented to me. I didn't act out and I didn't say any bad words.

Here am I in receptive mode. . .

Here is the input. . .

"We have paradigms of postmodernism that we need to relate to our students' cultural awareness. We need to bring relativity to them so that they employ inquiry learning."

WTF?

Am I slow?

Okay, I'm supposed to present an "ill-structured problem." I'm really not sure what that means. I got the point where we are supposed to make the kids think. I get that. I've always gotten that. I believe in making the kids think. I thought that was our job. I just don't understand what an "ill-structured problem" is.

OH, we're supposed to take our kids to the liberry (seriously this was said so many times) and in the liberry we are supposed to have them hook up with images that could not always be appropriate. But they are part of the curriculum that we are supposed to have them look at.

I'm just so appalled at the further dumbing down of America. I'm going to have to check with my friend the liberrian to see if she has time to fit in 70 sections of art classes into her limited space. She's going to freak out when I tell her that we are supposed to spend 11/14 hours doing research rather than making art. On a good day the library can only serve the computer needs of half of one of our classes.

Teacher, I have some feelings. I'm insecure and it makes me want to cut myself. So I cut myself because that's my feelings. One of the images on our wall today was of a wrist cut with a razor blade.

It's sad when it is the teachers who want to cut themselves because they have to put up with this nonsense.

Just Shoot Me

I was about ten minutes into a professional development session today when I was compelled to rip a page out of my sketchbook and do this.

What was really horrible is that I held it up for the rest of the participants to see and EVERYONE nodded. Art teachers are such bad children. Seriously, teachers of each discipline have such varied personality qualities. Math teachers are very methodical and logical and don't seem to have a great sense of humor. They do seem capable of going postal. All that repressed creativity I guess. English teachers are fun, but sometimes anal. They can appreciate horribly awful jokes but seem to stress out over things that other folks don't mind. Social Studies teachers are willing to stir stuff with a stick. They have a sense of justice that just doesn't always work out for them. Science teachers are seriously demented. Some like to blow things up, some like to build giant catapults, some are too very interested in watching fire.

Art teachers are the bad children from every class. They pass notes, they refuse to pay attention, they sneak up and write things on the board behind the teacher's back, they talk back, they point out the obvious flaws in everything and say "why?" We're the ones who bring sketchbooks to class and draw nasty caricatures of the teacher.

Gather a room full of art teachers. Already the ADD and ADHD level is through the roof. There is this thing called "attention span." We don't know what an attention span is unless we get into the "zone." If we are in the zone, then heaven help you if you distract us. There are levels of art teachers. Primary art teachers are usually very sunny and really sweet. High school art teachers tend to work and sell art on the side and are more likely to have BFA (studio) degrees. I think they have a higher degree of sociopathic behavior. Middle school art teachers are well, in the middle. They can lean toward the "force" or the "dark side."

Staff Development: The bane of public school teachers. In order to maintain certification standards and good standards with our employer we can A) get 21 hours in our content area a year or B) be docked 3 sick days. I'm late to the teaching game so I have to renew my certification every 5 years so I HAVE to put in the hours. Other folks have "lifetime" certifications so they can use up several of the hundreds of sick days they have accumulated.

Staff Development generally involves learning new acronyms that are meaningless. Every two years, someone has to reinvent the wheel and we have to pretend that we are paying attention.

We have to learn now about PBL (Problem Based Learning) and create CPG's (Curriculum Practice Guides.)

Here's a quote from my handout today: "Problem Based Scenario using Meta-Cognitive Modeling a reasoning not about "the world as it is," but about the relation of our own knowledge to the world, and to the goals we pursue activating prior knowledge. The moment information arrives it is already obsolete to some extent, a decision maker in a real world situation will never have all the information necessary for making an optimal decision. . . " This handout also cites the Road Island School of Design.

Scenario: A parent and a 14 year old are watching a video. At some point the content becomes objectionable to the parent and the parent stops the video and returns it to the store. The 14 year old rents the video and is watching it and it gets up to the point where the parent turns it off and the 9 year old sister comes in and the 14 year old turns it off and says the 9 year old is too young to see it.

This is the problem we were presented first this morning which prompted my impromptu sign. We were supposed to "fill in the gaps" and ask questions about this scenario.

In between expelling exasperated sighs and rolling our eyes we came up with these questions.

1) How did the 14 year old get the video again?
2) How did he get to the store?
3) Don't they have a DVD player?
4) What year did this scenario happen?
5) Would it have been better for the parent to watch the video and then explain to the 14 year old why it was inappropriate?
6) Was the 14 year old masturbating?
7) Where was the parent when the child checked out the video?

This is supposed to help us teach art?

It got worse from there. We were insulted and told that we've done a horrible job. We apparently have to teach art in a new way now that doesn't involve requiring our students to learn basic skills.

Scenario: (Dialog follows) "Teacher, I've got feelings about World Hunger. I looked it up on the Internet and I want to express myself. I need some markers. Since I've looked it up and thought about it, I want to draw a big pink puffy heart on a piece of paper. I want to draw an arrow through the heart because when I think about World Hunger it makes my heart hurt and that's how I want to express it." The teacher says "Maria, that's VERY good, you should express your feelings about such a globally critical issue. You are so bright to want to show your heart being hurt. Let me get you some markers."

We are supposed to give them a prompt. This scenario supposes that I've already told them to come up with something about World Hunger. It supposes that I have unlimited access to a computer lab where the kids can go research about World Hunger and then come up with ideas to express how they feel. We are not supposed to be critical in any way of their "ideas."

Gag me with a ten foot pole.

Apparently I'm not supposed to teach art anymore. I'm supposed to make them research and write about their feelings. I'm also supposed to invite in parents and members of the community each six weeks to view and give feedback about the artwork that is generated.

I call Mr. Rodriguez and I say, "Mr. Rodriguez, can you please come to art class on Tuesday to give feedback about the artwork that is generated from Juan's feelings?" IF Mr. Rodriguez speaks English, I have to also mention that I need to know that he is coming so that I can notify the principal's office where he will need to go and get checked in (after showing ID) and get escorted to my class by a security officer. I'm supposed to do this times 130 kids. I'm supposed to call the directors of local art galleries and ask them to also come and sit in on my class and view the "feeling-inspired artwork" and ask them to give very objective and non-critical feedback to the students and the parents and the administration of my building. That's also after they've gone through criminal background checks and been cleared through building security.

Give me a break.

We were told to meet in our small groups and establish our "norms" for visiting one another and observing other teachers' classes in an objective and non-critical way. I held up my hand and asked what a "norm" was. I'm such a rabble rouser. The session leader said "Well you need to establish norms with the observer and determine how one can leave feedback without feelings getting hurt." I was still puzzled. She told me that we had to make up rules to go by. I asked her if she meant "standards of conduct" and she said that was "very good." I know I rolled my eyes. I looked her straight in the eye and said "If we go observe someone we should be polite." "VERY good" she said to me. I shook my head and said "okay, it's very simple, my 'norm' is BE NICE."

How hard is that?

I'm terribly opposed to freaking psychobabble that takes very simple concepts that are tried and true and puts horribly confusing and distracting language on them. How many have made so much money dressing up the Socratic method in fecal matter? That's all it is. We're supposed to make the kids think.

I think that's what I've been doing. Problem based learning. . . Here is the art element line. What kinds of line are there? Thick, thin, curved, zig zag, dashed, swirly etc. Take line and arrange it in an interesting way. You can't have any line cross another. Problem stated. Solution to be rendered. It requires thinking. I tell them I can't think for them. They have to play with the element to see what they can come up with. I guess now I'll have to say "express your feelings about World Hunger" with line. Be sure and talk to all the kids around you a lot to generate ideas. Use up almost all of our class time talking about it and discussing your feelings about it. I won't offer any supplies, you have to figure out HOW you want to express your feelings about line and come ask me for what you need (which I may or may not have because the student has no idea what supplies are available since I'm no longer supposed to give them guidelines to follow)

I told the office manager today that if she heard automatic gunfire coming from down the hallway that it was in the room with the art teachers.

Damn Skippy!

_______________________________________________________

Watching Lizards

My porch has assumed a greater importance to me this year. I've been really good. I've not smoked in my house at all this year. This has led me to some very uncomfortable bundled up smoking quickly times when the temp was down. I'm sure it will lead to more of the same on the hot end.

One of the wonderful things is that I get to see the world around me in my neighborhood. I never realized before all the things that go on at Baumgarten. I have intensely enjoyed seeing spring erupt and I've watched the interactions of many avian creatures.

As the weather has warmed up I've noticed a pair of lizards. I call them a pair because they run back and forth in the same trajectories. The boy is very obvious. He nods up and down three times and blows out a red thing (a dewlap) under his chin. The girl is smaller and doesn't engage in such silly behavior. I've named them. I name rocks so certainly have to name lizards. I call them Lenny and Lenore.

They often scare the living crap out of me. I'll be sitting and reading and being all quiet and I'll hear some small maelstrom hit the leaves in the flowerbed that hits the foundation. I can see something rustling through the leaves. Human paranoia makes me think EEEK Snakes, but I've found that it is simply Lenny and Lenore. I should have cleared the leaves out, but I hope they will make richer dirt for the flower bed than what normally exists there. Our soil is horrible here, being built on a former airport. We've been bad about clearing the beds up under the holly bushes and have been rewarded with rich soil that has developed from all the downed live oak leaves that accumulate.

Lenny came up on the porch a few days ago. He came within four feet of my foot and he did this strange nodding and then blew out his dewlap. I've seen him on the porch, on the wall, in the flowerbed, on the neighbor's house. He's an impressive fellow. I didn't know the difference between real chameleons and anoles. I've since been educated. My porch lizards are anoles. They do change color. I saw Lenore the first time last week. She's smaller and looks at the world like the Geico Gecko. I swear they must study real anoles to get all the expressions right on the commercial. Lenore ran through the bed rustling the leaves and ended up on the wall. She hid behind the chair for a long while and then peeked out. She ate a bug while I was watching and I was grateful. I'm a supporter of eating bugs on my porch. I'd have ten thousand lizards around if they would eat all the bugs.

+ + + ++ + + ++ + + + + + +++ + +

I continue to read. I finished a very interesting book called Tilt about the tower in Pisa. I'm an art history and architecture nerd so it was a fun read. Americans are just too young to appreciate the timeless history of some structures. The Leaning Tower is not so timeless; it is however really old by our standards. I have always been aware of such a thing. I cannot remember a time when I'd not heard of the leaning tower, but I never really knew why it leaned or that there had been 17 commissions to try and fix it. I do love Italia and the more I learn about it the more I think I belong there.

That might have something to do with my next choice of book. I fished out Under the Tuscan Sun from my random pile. I dusted it off and proceeded to get really hungry. I've been to Italia twice and I want to go back. I want to cash in everything I've ever owned and any prospect of inheritance to do what Frances Mayes has done. I will defy scorpions and rotted timbers to live in the golden atmosphere that inspired the Renaissance. Please, mother, may I?

Book #35 was a departure. I'm getting very close to halfway through the year. I'm going to have to read frenetically this summer to even get close to a hundred. Wait, my goal was 52. Hmmm. Dang. I forgot about #36. I'm getting out of order, but I'm keeping the count up. I don't write this down. My friend Jane is so organized. She's a reading teacher, I'm an art teacher. She writes down lists, I draw them on the walls.

I'm listening to my ipod as I type. I want to hate ipods. I hate to see the kids attached to them when they should be listening to me. I hate to see people in public plugged into them so that they are isolating. I'm in private, I'm typing on my computer and I'm listening to "Taking Care of Business" from A Knight's Tale soundtrack. It makes me boogie. It segues into "Golden Years." I'm still moving. . ."Run for the shadows, run for the shadows
Run for the shadows in these golden years" Here comes Thin Lizzy. . . ."The Boys are Back in Town." That's my ringtone for all my young art teachers at school. Mark gives me a hard time when my phone goes off with that. He says "Which one of your boyfriends is that?" It's all of them I say!

Spread the word around. . . .

I'm losing track of the books. I read a really funny book about this weird guy who worked for Amazon.com. 21 Dog Years: A Cube Dweller's Tale by Mike Daisey is pretty strange. I'm impressed that this guy has wanted to become a professional intellectual. I want to do that. I think that was 37. The next one #38 was very interesting and a well documented tale of lust and love and learning at the Medici Court in Florence. I kept going with the Italy thing. I picked up a book and was trying to assess it and determine how high it would fit on my stack by the bed. I was a quarter of the way through it before I realized that it was on the top of the stack. #39 is The Lost Painting by Jonathan Harr. I read it in about a day and a half. It is very well done and takes really good investigative journalism and interviewing and makes a story that reads like wonderful fiction. #40 came in the mail and I devoured it. The Gold Unicorn by Tanith Lee is the second in the series. I'd previously read the Black Unicorn and although I would say these are for young readers (those of you with teenage girls should check them out) they are very well written with beautifully descriptive language.

Horrible Bad Bad Person

I've been negligent about posting. I've been very self-absorbed and selfish. I've totally lost count of my books for the year.

I'll try to make up for it briefly.

I finished Geisha, A Life today. It was very interesting and reminded me so much of Memoirs of a Geisha which was one of the most stunning books I've ever read. It was so beautiful.

I checked out of school today. I'm so relieved. I'm officially done until August. I need the break. My brain is fried. Let me speak slowly. F R I E D.

The previous book was Sanctuary by Molly Noble Bull. The author herself sent me the book with a very sweet inscription. I've been corresponding with her and she's a very nice lady from Kingsville, TX. I am so honored that she was kind enough to send me an inscribed copy of her book. I love her name. Seriously, Molly Noble Bull. That name rocks my world. It just has zing.

Sorry Kelly, you and I just don't have quite the same zing name wise. DANG.

Going back one more to The Sparrow. I'd read it before but I wanted to revisit it and I liked it just as much and perhaps got more out of it than I did the first time.

I think I'm catching up. The previous book was The Forest House, also by Marion Zimmer Bradley.

Okay, I've finished 32 books so far and summer vacation started today. I'm looking fondly at #33. It's yummy and makes me long for far off shores.

Interesting news today. . . . Baby girl was getting on a plane to go to a wedding in St. Louis and she gets a phone call making her a job offer. She's not had her degree a month and has already been offered a job as a TV reporter. She's been told that it should take a year to get any kind of job in TV. It's a tough industry. She's 22.

Think about it. What were YOU doing when you were 22? Well, I was probably making as much as she's being offered as a baby girl reporter. It's very low wage to start. By the time she pays rent and her student loans she'll be eating Ramen all month.

She could come back to her home school district and teach history and make twice as much. She'd be fabulous. Her kids would love her and she would inspire them, but she has a dream. She wants to go global. She knows that global starts in a small market in the hinterlands. Hinterlands has called. She could be handing off to Katie Couric before you know it.

Not that I'm proud at all. I admire her for having a dream. A dream starts with small steps.

I'm very proud that she has BIG dreams. I wish her well and happy on her adventure.